My not so funny Prop 8 Story

So when I was originally going to tell this story it was funny, but has taken on some twists that are still sorta funny, but a bit painful as well...

Here is the Story:

My parents have been putting "YES on PROP 8" signs all over their yard. The back portion of their yard is on a busier section then the front of their yard so they put sign out back - still on their property but on the other side of their fence. Well their signs kept getting stolen. It has been a huge problem around here and apparently all over California - People against prop 8 scream for TOLERANCE but can't give any themselves...

My dad found out that if you put your name and telephone number on the signs and they get stolen then it's a felony and not just petty theft... However, this did not stop our sign thief! She (we now know it's a woman) stole my dad's signs and then called his number and left him a very colorful message about how he needs to look up tolerance in the dictionary and called him some not so nice names.

The next night (Saturday) my dad planned a stake-out! He hid in his backyard from about 6-10pm and was about to go inside when he heard a car pull up and someone get out. This woman started to steal my dad's signs and he quietly opened the gate and started taking pictures of this woman stealing his signs - SHE DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THE FLASH GOING OFF!!! She finally turned around and saw my dad and started screaming! My dad followed her to her car and she kept screaming at him to stop following her and that she was going to call the cops! That reminded my dad that HE was going to call the cops - so call he did. He was able to get plenty of pictures of the Perpetrator and her license plate number. The cops came and took his report and said that things might not get taken care of until after the elections because things were so crazy!

At the time that I first said I would tell the story that was the end of it, HOWEVER, this is no longer the end!

Sunday night she stole the signs again... Monday my dad was on another stake out. Ben and I had just picked up Ryan and thought we would play a joke on my dad. We were going to drive around the neighborhood for a little while and then go to the back part of my parents house - I was then going to jump out of my car and pretend to steal my dad's signs hoping that he would then come out and take my picture... Would have been so funny... If only that is what had happened.

We drove around in time to see my Dad taking pictures of someone - the same lady and my mom was holding on to her bike's handle bars. I jump out of the car and I was mad! I asked the Lady if she was still stealing signs and she looked at me... The look haunted me - It was a scary look that she had in her eyes - She hated me... She doesn't know me or why I'm voting yes on 8, but she did know that she thought we were wrong and there was hatred in her eyes. It scared me at first but then got me rilled up! My dad told her that we were preforming a citizen's arrest and that the cops would be here soon. She started freaking out - oh did I mention that she was DRUNK OFF HER ROCKER! Her breath smelled really bad! She started screaming at us and started kicking my mom...

Let me pause to tell you that I have been an EMOTIONAL wreck these past couple of days because of the persecution our youth have been facing because of this Prop 8. Everyday for over a week people have been telling me that I'm a bigot and a horrible person. It has been a lot for me. Earlier on Monday night when we were holding up YES ON 8 signs some punk kid came over with his homemade sign that said Yes on 8 and had a swastika and KKK and Nazi written all over the sign. That made me cry like crazy and then I came home to the sign thief!

So the woman started kicking my mom and I blew up! I yelled at her "YOU DON'T KICK MY MOM!!!" My mom and I started to restrain her and she was freaking out... Then out of nowhere... I really don't know how it happened - SHE BIT MY FINGER! It took me a second to realize that she was biting me and I started yelling "SHE'S BITING MY FINGER!!!" I tried to pull it out of her mouth, but she was clamped on good and tight. I then kneed her in the stomach and she still didn't let go. She finally let go when my mom pulled her by the hair off of me... I was extremely mad at this point and started yelling at this lady. Ben was very calm with her and we found out that her name was Shelly. She then told us that she was a lesbian and that she had a lifetime partner. I told her that I loved her and that I wasn't voting yes against them. 2 seconds later she told us that she wanted to call her husband LARRY! I was like , "Shelly you just told us you were a Lesbian". Shelly then said "No I didn't you dick, I said my sis in law was a lesbian!" That was funny to me :)

Long story short the cops came and they said that they would cite her for vandalism only and that if I pressed assault charges on Shelly that Shelly could file assault charges on me for kneeing her in the stomach. Apparently if someone is biting you - you are supposed to just let them. We didn't press any charges - not even vandalism. It wasn't worth it. The cops told her though if she took the signs again or even came near the property that she would be arrested.

Shelly bit me so hard that she broke through the nail. I bled all over the place and spent 6hours in the ER so that I could get a tetanus shot... NOT FUN. But hey - I'm ok and learned to keep my cool. I know that Marriage is ordained of God between one man and one woman. If it was ordained of God then there wouldn't be any opposition. So I welcome the Opposition... YES ON 8!

This is Shelly...